What do you read?

Now that I have retired to Rosemary’s hearth rug she does sometimes like to read to me and my dear Blandamour in the evening. I sometimes suspect it is to throw Mrs Featherstone off , on occasion she has come into the room when Rosemary and I are having a conversation.

Cats of course, don’t really need to read. Our songs and legends are taught to us by our elders. Humans, being of inferior intellect, have the need to record them on paper.

Do you read for work or for pleasure?

I do not need to read for either work or pleasure. As a young cat, held captive by Mrs Cantrip all those years I used to have to read spells. She was not a very good witch, and this really made my position all the more unbearable and beneath my royal station.

Do you read to your kids or someone else’s?

I recite the Royal Rules to the grandchildren when they are staying for the evening. Of course Woppit makes them repeat the Rules every day but she is quite ancient and her mind wanders at times.

Dear Wellingtonia is a little too relaxed with the Royal children, but not being of Royal birth herself, she doesn’t understand the importance of the Rules. Not to say she does not have a regal bearing, she is both wise and brave as well as beautiful.

The Rules, of course, are very easy to remember

No paw or whisker in the dish
Whether meat or fowl or fish
Each awkward bone be sure to gnaw
Upon the plate, not on the floor
Lap your milk from out the platter
From the edge and do not scatter
Drops from either bowl or mug
On quarried floor or silken rug
Steady lapping, rhythmic, quiet
Is correct for milky diet
After food wash paws and face
And don’t forget to purr your grace

Can you do the Safety Dance while reading?

Ah I have seen humans dance. Limbs flailing about. It is terribly undignified.

Are you a Discworld/Twilight/Harry Potter Fan?

While Harry Potter himself does not own a cat, other witches and wizards do. I do not approve. Although no human can own a cat, it is the cat that selects a human family to look after.

Would you attend a flash mob dressed as your favourite character?

Cats are not fanatical by nature. We prefer to spend time meditating on the mystery of Life and Eternity.
Thank you to Carbonel for sharing his valuable time with us and thank you to Olga for scribing it. Carbonel is a King of Cats and rules the books written about him by Barbara Sleigh. He is a most important cat and can’t recommend his books enough as they are a slice of England at the time of writing.

Olga wishes she had some of the red medicine from Hedgem and Fudge. She owns Crickhollow Books with her partner Craig. She is a passionate reader and mad book collector. You can read her blog.